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Slice 320 of 365

I tweaked the Pledge of allegiance recently. I also recently discussed the ten commandments. Well put two and two together. Today I give you my ten commandments.

  1. Thou shall never hurt animals
    I am not exactly a pet person. If you treat your pet like your kid we probably won’t get along, but that doesn’t mean I want any harm to come to them
  2. Thou shall not try to pass their animals off as service animals so they can take them wherever the hell they want
    See above…
  3. Thou shalt not hurt each other
    Not physically or mentally, or what ever. Just don’t do it.
  4. Thou shall not tailgate
    You know who you are
  5. Thou shall not be selfish
    Self explanatory I hope
  6. Thou shall not take the flying spaghetti monster’s name in vain, without good reason of course
    Use your judgment
  7. Thou shall not remove their shoes on a plane
    C’mon, really?
  8. Thou shall not say there, when they mean they’re or their
    So there.
  9. Thou shall not dis the bookstore
    Your kindle can kiss my hardcover
  10. Thou shalt not be an asshole
    I have been known to occasionally break this one pretty hard

I think I need to rewrite the Deceleration of Independence and the Constitution.

Until tomorrow…