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Slice 287 of 365

I saw something yesterday asking if it was possible to change the voices in your head. I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Change the volume? Change the tone? Change the attitude? Perhaps have them talk in different accents. I have dozens of different voices in my head, all with their own personalities.

For instance there’s an old Jewish lady’s voice in my head. She mostly handles guilt, “Oy vey, when is the last time you called your mother?” Occasionally she’ll pipe in when I’m cooking, “that needs more salt you putz.” Weirdly there is also an old Italian lady’s voice in my head who says similar things, “mangia, mangia!” she yells. Sometimes they fight and there’s Italian and Yiddish curses flying through the air like mobile homes in a tornado.

There’s a British butler type of voice who chimes in when I’m doing yard work. No idea why. He does say bloody a lot, and then he screams. I don’t do that much yard work fortunately. Just got my mower back from being repaired, so this Saturday will be bloody awful.

My writing voices tend to sound like my characters, so the more aggressive ones get more page time. Now there are more characters in my head than in the sequel I’m currently working on (new job has sorely stalled that effort) but they all, nonetheless, still have voices that carry beyond their book confines.

My favorite voice sounds like Jessica Rabbit. If all my internal voices could sound like that I’d be much more productive.

There was one day where the Italian lady didn’t like something Jessica Rabbit said, and an argument broke out that turned into a full out brawl. They were bouncing around my head for an hour using the baggage as ammunition, and since there’s a ton of that, there were many injuries. There was a food fight too but I don’t want to talk about it.

I think, if I had the choice, I would want the robot from Lost in Space for my internal warning voice. Right now that voice is out of order. The job has been advertised for many moons. Nobody seems to want it.

I don’t know why.

Until tomorrow…