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Slice 209 of 365

Really feeling like I wanted to be in Jersey today for Becca. I know there are a ton of people there for her, and honestly it’s probably too many people, she’s most likely hating it, but I still want to be there for her. For all my kids.

I’m not sure if it’s harder not being there, or having somebody else “take my place.” I know I can’t always be there for them, especially as they move out.

It’s not just about today either. There have been plenty of times in the past, when somebody else did something for them that either I just couldn’t do or wasn’t there for or whatever other reason there may have been.

As much as I appreciate my kids having other adults they can rely on, I’m kind of ashamed to say, there’s a jealousy factor in there, for me at least. It’s hard to watch them do something, doesn’t matter what, with somebody else that you wanted to do with them.

It’s great when they’re little, and never want to leave your side. Feels like it will last forever. Little by little, though, they grow up and creep a little further away each year.

Maybe it will be different with grandkids. πŸ™‚

Until tomorrow…