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Slice 112 of 365

There is only so much energy I have per day. Many different things deplete it but it’s people who reduce it most of all. Some people in particular on occasion (my kids…) but generally it’s just people et al. 

Talking is what really zaps me. I’ve never been much of a talker anyway unless I’m extremely comfortable with the person and even then it’s not a guarantee. I think my father and the bullies had a lot to do with that. Nothing I ever said was valued much so I kind of learned to keep to myself. 

When I’m in a group I tend to listen and not talk unless I can make a joke which I’ll do and then shut up again. Groups are much easier because I can mostly disappear. Crowds in general take a lot of energy these days. Just walking through a crowded theater will wear me out by the time I’m done even if it was just 30 Seconds.

One on one is way more difficult, especially when people ask questions. I tend to give short answers because I really don’t want to answer at all. 

I’m not trying to be rude, or short, or ignore you.  You just zap energy I don’t have. I know you’re not doing it on purpose and I get that you don’t get it, even though that is frustrating. Why don’t you get it? It’s soooooooooo simple. 

I don’t like to throw the word introvert around but there is some truth there. 

I know there are some people who understand this, at least one of them I see several times a month which has it’s comforting affects. 

That’s why I like the writing. I get to say whatever I want, all at one time and not have to discuss it with anybody. Even when there are comments it’s at my pace and not face to face. 

So I’m going to go recoup some life force however it is I do that, I’m really not sure. 

It might be helpful if I could figure that out. 

Until tomorrow…

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