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Slice 93 of 365

The last two days all I want to do is eat. I had a whole pizza for dinner last night and then ice cream with marshmallows and peanut butter chips because that’s all I had in the house. 

I did ok during the day today but dinner was calorie ridden crap. 

It’s a good thing I don’t have a car right now because I’d be at Safeway up to my old tricks. As it is now with the gym membership gone I have to find a new exercise groove and get into it. 

No where I can walk to, well not within a reasonable distance at least, and only pizza delivery available and I had that already. 

I try not to keep anything in the house but the kids have things here sometimes and even low calorie things are only low calorie if you eat only one serving. Like that’s gonna happen.

Over two years and the cravings still don’t abate. And it’s not even just once in a while it’s everyday which is why I don’t keep junk food in the house. I keep one box of vanilla wafers here usually and have two to three at a time once or twice a day just for a small sweet treat. For salty I keep pretzels with the same portions. 

But if the kids have something here and I’m having/had a bad/anxious day that’s where the trouble starts. We had lots of cases of Girl Scouts here recently and I didn’t touch one

Sometimes it’s not so hard to fight it and sometimes it’s just impossible. 

The problem is after the impossible times comes the obligatory self loathing

Ironically that starts the process all over again. 

One day at a time.

Doritos.

One day at a time.

Ice cream.

One day at a time.

Canollis.

Damn it…

Until tomorrow…

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