Slice 91of 365
I’d like to thank you for employing me in the job of Adult for as long as you have. The work has been interesting but is no longer fulfilling and after quite a few sleepless nights and some soul searching I have decided to resign from this position.
The stress level and complications in the department of Grown Ups has become an unpleasant working environment that I no longer enjoy. The lack of benefits in this position has also helped to define my decision.
I have decide to resume work in my previous position of Kid. I believe there are multiple openings available.
My experience in this area has been unused for some time but not forgotten.
I can, with some ease, still spin in circles until I fall down. I can accomplish this without alcohol.
Jumping in puddles has been more difficult in my desert environment but when provided with one my leaping ability is still in tact.
The chasing of butterflies and swinging as high as possible are my strongest skills.
I can be counted on to fulfill and complete any other childhood tasks including blowing bubbles, saying my ABCs, having tantrums and napping.
I believe I am highly qualified for this position and deserve this demotion in status, stress and responsibility.
I thank you for your time and consideration and you’re a big fat poopy head if I don’t get the job.
Where’s my chocolate milk?