Tags

, , , , , , ,

Slice 66 of 365

Sitting in the bowling alley waiting for Becca’s junior league to start and peddling Girl Scout cookies.

It looks like there are several birthday parties going on so there are a ton of people here. It seems like maybe a good day to pick somebody at random and have some fun making up a back story with some secret.

Ok got my mark. I am looking at a gentleman, probably in his 40s, bald (looks like he shaves it on purpose), wearing a bright yellow Michigan Wolverines shirt and blue shorts. He’s also sporting a VanDyke and wearing glasses.

I’ve seen him around, he’s one of the bowling coaches but I don’t know a thing about him including his name.

He’s got some bulk to him, like he could be a wrestler. That’s his secret, he jello wrestles on the weekends to earn extra cash for accordion lessons, music is his true passion.

That and hot yoga. That’s why he’s so good at wrestling, he’s centered, focused, bendy and sweaty. He stinks off his opponents.

His yoga outfit and wrestling costume are kind of similar, both have masks but only the yoga attire has a cape, well one that works at least. His yoga mat is designed like a small wrestling ring.

His thick Irish brogue kind of makes his ring time trash talk sound like a Leprechaun spouting off to a unicorn. Having a hit of helium would only make me sound half as munchkin like.

He already plays ukulele (his grandmother taught him in between cigars and shots of Johnny Walker Black) which is his thing in the ring. He gets the crowd all riled up with his “KISS” covers and then sloshes out swinging.

You wouldn’t think it makes a difference but he does his best work in lime jello and his worst in cherry. Maybe it’s because the losers have to eat the jello after the match and nobody likes lime.

He has lost his last 37 matches, out of 38, he won one by default when the crocodile he was suppose to wrestle ate its owner and was too sick to fight after also eating all the lime jello in the ring as well. See, lime jello, bad.

He’s really not very good, and has raised no money to pursue his love of the accordion. Even the loser does win some money but after he has his costume dry cleaned, they charge extra for unsweatifying, there isn’t anything left.

He’s already thinking about giving it up. That would be a shame though, how many Irish, hot yoga, jello wrestling, mask wearing, ukulele playing, accordion players are there in this world?

Certainly not enough.

I guess he can always go back to his day job of priest/female impersonator. God knows that market is saturated.

Until tomorrow…

Advertisements