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Slice 57 of 365

A friend I have known for over 45 years will be leaving me soon.

My TV.

Specifically the cable, not the TV itself. I have to cut costs and I’m having trouble justifying the cable cost vs. what I get from it (the gym will probably be next). That’s a difficult task because, for me, TV gives me so much that just cutting it cold turkey will be like losing a friend. I couldn’t possibly put a monetary value on it but I’m going to be forced to.

No doubt many of you are shaking your heads, I do the same thing when people treat/talk about their pets like children. I’ll never understand that and you don’t need to understand this. It’s the ones who do get it, whose hearts are with mine right now.

I’ve always been able to rely on my TV friends through anything and I honestly can’t say that about anybody else, not for everything for most of my life at least. Different people have been there at different times and through different things but not forever and not consistently. My TV buddies live on forever and never change and are always there. They were especially important when I was a child, that bond is Superman strong.

TV is much different now than when I was a kid. Just because I may cancel the cable doesn’t mean I’m without TV. In this day and age with Netflix, HULU and other media stuff I can pretty much watch what I like whenever I want for much less than the cost of cable or even for free.

My kids are avid DVD collectors, movies and TV alike. They get very frustrated with me because I’m not all that fond of DVD’s. To me that’s no fun, I’d rather turn on the TV and be surprised by what I find on. It’s like turning on the radio and catching that one song you haven’t heard in ages that maybe you’d even forgotten about. I know sometimes you may want to listen to the whole album but just letting fate hand it to you is more fun to me. Catching that old movie on TCM that you didn’t even realize you were in the mood for can make my whole day.

I might be able to get an antenna but being here in the mountains and 100 miles from Phoenix I’m not sure how that would work out. That would sure remind me of childhood though, static, snow, picture not coming in, blank channels and now all at the convenience of a remote control.

I’ve gone round and round with myself asking if I’ve wasted too much time on television throughout my life and what I would have done had I not spent so much time with it. I don’t have a good answer. I enjoy it, I tell myself and we should do what we enjoy and what makes us feel good.

Is it an addiction? Yeah I think it is. Am I addicted? You might think so but if forced to, which is happening, I do feel I can walk away from it. I will be reluctant and it will be hard but I’m sure I can.

I say to myself I should do more reading or I should get outside more, etc., etc., etc. But why should I do those things? Because society says I should? Because I’ve talked myself into thinking I need to do all those things to be fulfilled? Or because I actually want to do those things and enjoy them? Maybe I don’t do them because they’re harder, watching TV is easy as pie, which by the way I enjoy eating while watching. Who am I kidding I’ll eat pie anytime day or night.

Billions of people around the world function without TV, by choice or not, why shouldn’t I?

Part of all this is about change. I don’t like change, I don’t change well. I’m pretty rigid and tight about lots of things and bending more than slightly will break me. Ya know what? I’m OK with who I am in that respect. I’m way better than I used to be if you can believe that.

So many things have changed lately that I suppose I hold on even tighter to what I can. And now, the simplest of things that I know I can always trust and rely on probably has to go too. I’m not sure I’ll ever have a friend like that ever again.

I feel dumb, like my feelings are completely misplaced but none the less, it is what it is.

Until tomorrow…