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I always have the TV on during the day when I’m working. It makes me feel less alone like there are coworkers passing by my cubicle.

Yesterday I had on the movie “13 Going on 30” with Jenifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo and Judy Greer (who I love!)

Basically Jennifer Garner’s character is 13 and wants to be 30, it’s kind of a girl version of “Big”. It’s a cute movie (ya know, my kind of feel good movie, Mike and Joey rolling their eyes right now) and let’s face it Jennifer Garner is smoking hot (yes shallow, I get it…), and she plays a 13-year-old girl cute as a button (side note: does anybody really think buttons are cute?)

She discovers that she doesn’t really like the person she is at 30 and changes it to match her young teen version. It got me thinking about what I was like at 13, 30 and now.

I was 13 in late 1978 into 1979. It was 8th grade and I couldn’t get out of that hell hole George G. White School fast enough. I had no idea what high school would hold but I could only hope that the bullying would somehow fizzle out. I was partly right. I wore a green denim suit for graduation and even my father made a comment.

I had my first summer job that year before I started as a freshman. I was a counselor at the day camp at Ann Blanch Smith School, Camp Hildaca I think it was. I had that same summer job all throughout high school moving up to game room, and then gym supervisor.

I had my first real girlfriend that fall (no names, don’t think she’d like it ). We had sort of a knowledge that we both existed but after we met up selling Marching Band candles for a fundraiser and I was invited for dinner that was the beginning of the end and not just for us.

17 years later would be 1995 into 1996 and I would have two children and two mortgages by the time I was 30. I was married 5+ years and about a year into my new job with Computron which has changed names at least once since then. My first girlfriend (see previous paragraph) helped get me the job. We’re still friends even now, her youngest daughter is my godchild.

It was the year Joey learned to walk, we moved to North Haledon and the year Lisa found a lump in her breast spiraling our little world out of control.

For some reason turning 30 bothered me the most out of any birthday. I didn’t want any kind of party but Lisa had some friends gather at a restaurant anyway and I was glad she did.

Now at present, 18 years later, I’m 2,500 miles from home, have one more child (who ironically is 13), and one less partner again. One boy completely done with school and the other right behind him. Down to one mortgage (which is still too much) heading towards 50 at warp speed waving at my 40s in the rear view mirror and trying to figure out what 13 used to feel like.

I think when I was 13 I still wanted to be a lawyer or maybe a chef. I read a lot, watched a lot of TV and tried to be invisible, boy that sounds really familiar…

I have no idea if my 13-year-old self would approve of my current self but I can be pretty sure he would at least like me.

That seems like enough.

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