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I’m not sure that Franklin Delano Roosevelt had this correct when he used it in his first inaugural speech to the nation.

There is much to fear in the world.  Some real and some not so real.

My job occasionally has some slow periods. Since I’m self-employed, so to speak, I don’t get paid if I don’t work. No sick time, vacation, holidays, etc. These slow times, in my experience at least, are never that bad. A day here, a day there. This year though so far, things seem even slower, two days here, two days there. I try not to worry about it and it hasn’t been too bad so far.

This week however I’ve worked a total of 8 1/2 hours. I went from Monday, here we go again, to Wednesday, slightly freaking out, to today being really scared.

In my adult life there have really only been three things that really frightened me that were constants. Being unemployed, having no health insurance and being alone.  All three of those things have happened in the last five to ten years, some still are.

This week I updated my résumé, reached out to a couple of contacts and applied for several jobs locally that I’m over qualified for. Unfortunately it turns out I’m qualified for very little, who knew?

Also I have a friend (thanks Dena!) tell me about Amazon’s self publishing option. She sent me an article on Monster porn, yep, you read that right! I had sold some erotic short stories a few years ago so I reworked one and turned into a Kindle book for an experiment (used a pen name). Dena bought the first copy. I don’t expect much to happen but I have several others I could rework a little as well. Right now anything is better than nothing.

I hope work picks up next week and maybe this little winter lag will be over. I won’t forget it though, I’m going to keep reaching out and looking at other options just in case.  This is the time I could really use a second income in the house not to mention the shoulder.

So as much as I admire and love FDR and wish he was at the helm right now I don’t think he had it quite right because I’m scared and it’s more than fear it self.

I made the choices that led here but that’s a blog for another day…